I finished my guidebook this week. It's called: ‘Decide Your Purpose. Design Your Year.’, and the timing couldn't have been more perfect, or more ironic.
Because honestly? My life right now looks nothing like I imagined it would.
Don't get me wrong It’s not like I was pulled away - or forced to do anything. My son and daughter in law called and asked me to think about the possibility of moving in with them to watch the grandsons, since my daughter-in-law has graduated and the company she had the internship with, offered her a job, a really great job. I didn’t have to think about it. Family is such a blessing.
And so-
I'm living in my son's duplex, sleeping in a renovated room while the rest of the house is still under construction. I went from my own bathroom downstairs into a place with only a toilet in an unfinished room. No flooring. Missing appliances. Boxes everywhere. I left a job I loved, people I cherished, a town I'd called home for twenty years, all packed into a van and trailer last August.
And I gained weight. I ached more.
Some days I felt like I aged ten years overnight.
This wasn't the plan.
But here's what I'm learning: purpose isn't about having a perfect plan. It's about having a compass when everything else is spinning.
The Scattering
For years, I've been making progress, slow, up and down progress. Live events. Workbooks. Thirty-day challenges. David Beyers, Meditation practices, Mel Robbins this, James MacNeil that. All good stuff. All valuable. But I was going every which way and not actually moving forward in my business.
I felt stuck. Overwhelmed. Like something invisible was holding me back, but I couldn't name it.
You know that feeling? When you're doing ALL the things but getting nowhere?
The problem wasn't effort. It was clarity.
I forgot the purpose that was anchoring me. Without that, every shiny object looked like the next right step. Every opportunity felt urgent. Every "no" felt like I was missing out.
The Mirror Doesn't Smile Until You Do
Someone reminded me this week of something simple but profound: when you look in the mirror wanting it to smile, you don't try to change the mirror. You smile first.
Life is like that. It reflects what we are, not what we want.
I could stand in front of my messy life, the unfinished floors, the extra weight, the aching joints, the stress of navigating a blended family, and demand it change. Or I could change what I'm bringing to it.
That's where purpose comes in.
When I went through my own guidebook (because yes, I needed it too), something shifted. I got clear. I wrote down my major definite purpose, put it on a 3x5 card, and started carrying it with me. I added it to my goal app so I'd see it every single day.
And suddenly, decisions got easier.
‘Yes’ and ‘No’ Get Clear
My son and daughter-in-law told me something that could have gone one of two ways: "Don't go get another job. Stay here. Build your online business. Live your dream."
A year ago, that would have terrified me. The "responsible" thing would be to get steady income, right? Play it safe? Stay for my retirement to be larger?
But when you know your purpose, the answer becomes obvious.
I said yes.
Not because it was easy. Not because I had it all figured out. But because it aligned with who I'm becoming and what I'm here to do.
Purpose doesn't make life easier. It makes decisions clearer.
When you know where you're going, you know which road to take. You can say no to good opportunities because you're holding out for the right ones. You can say yes to scary things because they're pulling you forward, not sideways.
It's like walking into a bookstore. If you don't know which book you want, you could wander for hours, overwhelmed by choices. But when you know what you're looking for? You walk right to it.
Gratitude: The Secret Weapon for Choosing Your Attitude
Here's something I've discovered: gratitude isn't just a nice practice. It's how you get stronger at choosing your attitude.
And choosing your attitude? That's everything.
My friend, Keving, went into a five-hour surgery this week. And you know what he said beforehand?
"My attitude is great. We have a choice."
He was facing a big unknown, and what he focused on wasn't the fear, it was the choice.
Before he started working on his mindset, he said everything felt impossible. But with a change of heart, with gratitude and personal development, opportunities opened up everywhere.
That's the power of choosing your attitude.
And gratitude is how you build that muscle.
When I practice gratitude, really practice it, not just list things I'm thankful for but fill every cell with it, I start seeing miracles everywhere. Synchronicities. Divine timing. Doors opening that I didn't even know existed.
Like finishing my guidebook the same week my community started talking about purpose and decision-making. Coincidence? Maybe. Or maybe when you're aligned with your purpose and living in gratitude, the universe starts conspiring with you.
You Get What You Are, Not What You Want
There's a truth I keep bumping into: you don't attract what you want. You attract what you are.
If you're living in scarcity, you'll see scarcity everywhere, even when abundance surrounds you. If you're living in fear, you'll find things to be afraid of. If you're living in limitation, opportunities will pass you by because you won't recognize them.
But when you become what you're seeking, when you embody abundance, faith, possibility, the mirror has no choice but to reflect it back.
Our bodies are capable of producing any drug we need, at far greater quality and quantity than pharmaceuticals. Research shows that in just seven days of deep inner work, learning to live in the frequency of love, people can transform so completely that scientists say they've literally become a new person.
One person even grew a thyroid.
That's how powerful we are when we align our inner state with our purpose.
The Messy Middle Is Where the Magic Happens
I'm not going to pretend I have it all together.
Some days, I look at my life and think, "This is not what I signed up for."
I miss my friends. I miss my job. I miss being in a space that was fully mine. I miss feeling fit and strong instead of achy and tired.
But here's what I'm learning in the messy middle: this IS the journey. The renovations, literal and metaphorical, are part of it.
My grandsons light up when both their dads and mom are together. That's beautiful, even though it's complicated.
My son is being smart with money, even though it means living without flooring for months. That's wisdom, even though it's uncomfortable.
I'm building my business from scratch, even though some days I wonder if I'm crazy. That's faith, even though it's scary.
Purpose doesn't make the mess go away. It helps you navigate through it with grace.
Three Things That Keep Me Anchored
When life gets overwhelming, I come back to three simple decisions:
First, I've decided my purpose and I claim it daily. It's written down. It's on a card in my pocket. It's in my app. I speak it out loud. When opportunities arise, I measure them against this purpose. Does this move me toward who I'm becoming? Yes. Does this scatter my focus? No.
Second, I've decided, my daily disciplines. Even when I don't feel like it, especially when I don't feel like it, I show up. I show up for the morning calls with my Grow Rich family. I show up for my gratitude practice. I show up for movement, even if it's just a walk. Your daily routine determines your destiny. What you do every day matters more than what you do once in a while.
Third, I've decided to stay connected. I'm not doing this alone. I'm part of a mastermind, a community of truth-seekers who want to be the change we wish to see in the world. When minds come together with a common purpose, something powerful happens. We lift each other up. We remind each other of what's true when life gets hard.
The Legacy We're Building
Here's what I know: we're all leaving a legacy. The only question is whether it's going to be a good one or not.
I think about Mama Elizabeth, Queen Elizabeth we call her. She is the matriarch of our community who's 87 years old. She is still showing up, still speaking truth, still making a difference. She knew Martin Luther King Jr. She was part of the Richmond 34. She's a living legend.
And she reminded us: "Everyone has a legacy. It's up to you whether you want yours to be remembered."
What if the struggles I'm going through right now, the mess, the discomfort, the uncertainty, are actually building something beautiful? What if my grandsons will remember their Grama Lori, not as someone who had it all together, but as someone who kept showing up, kept choosing gratitude, kept living on purpose even when it was hard?
What if your mess is actually your message?
Start Where You Are
Maybe you're in your own messy middle right now.
Maybe you're scattered, overwhelmed, wondering why nothing seems to be working.
Maybe you've been trying so hard but going nowhere.
I want you to know: you don't need to have it all figured out. You just need to get clear on your purpose.
When you know why you're here and who you're becoming, the "how" starts to reveal itself.
Start with one small decision today:
Write down what matters most to you
Speak one thing you're grateful for out loud
Say yes to something that aligns with your purpose, even if it scares you
Say no to something that scatters your focus, even if it looks good
Don't wait for perfect circumstances. Don't wait until you feel ready.
The mirror is waiting for you to smile first.
And I promise you, when you do, when you choose your attitude and align with your purpose and practice gratitude like it's oxygen, you'll start seeing miracles everywhere.
Even in the mess. Especially in the mess.
That's where the magic happens.
What's one decision you can make today that aligns with your purpose? I'd love to hear about it.
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